As many of you know, the highest paid staff member at this school only does their job once a week. That’s right, our little friend who sits perched upon his stool every Friday outside of Dr. Bridges office, Prediction Bear. This little fuzz ball has been making football predictions for the past 30 years, and I’ve been wondering… what’s he doing when it’s not football season?
I had the opportunity to sit down with the Bear last week and inquire about his summer, “Cathedral 24. Brownsburg 21.” The Bear’s repetitive nature stumped me, and I had a hard time getting through his tough responses. “Cathedral 24. Brownsburg 21.”
Luckily I found a way around this, if the students want to know what the bear has been up to, then they should know. I went straight to the top and asked Officer Dom for access to the security cameras during the summer. After hours of interrogation, I was granted restricted access and was able to unlock truths which have never been publicly shared.
Prediction Bear is an underground musician. It turns out the Bear has been sneaking down to Cunningham to familiarize with all the instruments. Nobody is quite sure how long this has been going on, however I would hope not too long based on how bad the audio from the tapes were. Prediction Bear seems to have taken a special interest in the snare drums, though I don’t know how the Bear can carry them.
“I did notice over the summer that some of the drums were messed up early in the morning.” Senior Marimba player Ethan Trobridge said, “We try to make sure it’s all organized after we leave, it’s either the freshmen or… THE BEAR.”
It’s no secret that people are aware of what’s been going on around campus, and I have evidence that the Bear has been sneaking around Loretto this fall. We will have to wait and see where the Bear’s sticky paws get caught next. Until then… BEWARE OF THE BEAR!
